The Death Of A Warrior
by Queen of the Beasties
Summary: Wesley has a heart to heart moment with Alexander after Worf's death.


The door alarm sounded in Deanna Troi's quarters. "Come in, " she said from the sofa. Being half betazoid, Troi kew who was about to enter. Even so, it came as a bit of a surprize when Wesley Crusher stepped into her quarters. Even though Troi was a counselor and not a high-ranking officer, Wesley stood at attention as though standing in a room with Captain Picard or Commander Riker. Sensing nervousness from the young ensign, Deanna smiled kindly, and said, "Hello, Wesley. What can I do for you?"

"Ah...yes, Counselor," said Wesley, feeling awkward, but he felt that he should get this done. I was wondering how Alexander is doing?"

Troi's smile faded a bit. It had been a week since Worf had been killed in the Cardassian's attack on the _Enterprise_. All the physical damages had been repaired on the ship, but the loss of its only Klingon officer was still felt in the hearts of all the crewmembers, primarily in a certain ten year-old boy's. "He's sleeping at the moment," the counselor said, then lowered her voice, "At least he's pretending to. Ever since Worf...well, he's had trouble sleeping through the night, which is more than understandable in his situation."

"Oh," said Wesley, looking uncomfortable. "It's just that...I was wondering if I could...talk to him?"

"You're welcome to try," said Troi, attempting a smile. "He's been very quiet. He's just through there." Troi pointed beyond the sofa into the bedroom, where Wesley could see the end of a bed, with two tiny feet poking out of the corners of the blankets. He knew that Alexander was closest to Troi out of all the adults onboard, so it made sense that he went to live in her quarters after his father died.

"Thank you, Counselor." Wesley moved across the room until he stood at the threshold of the bedroom. After looking uncertainly back at Troi, who nodded encouragingly, he knocked softly on the wall. Alexander didn't say anything, but from here Wesley could see that his eyes were open. The ensign let himself in, and the boy looked up at him.

He seemed a little surprised to see who his visitor was. He had overheard the conversation outside, of course, and could not think of any reason why Wesley Crusher would want to speak with him. After all, they had barely met, having only exchanged polite hellos in passing through the corridors before. What could Dr. Crusher's son possibly want to talk to him about?

"Hello, Alexander," said Wesley with a tight-lipped smile.

"Hi," returned Alexander, a little hoarse. That had been the first world he had uttered all day. The next words he spoke a little more rudely than he had intended, "What do you want?"

Wesley heard a door swish closed behind him, and knew that Troi must have left to give the boys some privacy. He swallowed, and answered, "I-I want to talk about...your father."

"Oh." Alexander looked away, sullen. It occurred to Wesley that he must have had people forcing him to talk about his father for days now, and at the moment he did not seem too keen on discussing the subject further.

Still, Wesley was determined to finish what he had come to do, and he added, "Well, your father and my father."

"What about them?" Alexander sat up in bed, twisting a corner of his blanket in his hand so as to avoid having to look up at the older boy.

"My father died when I was only a little younger than you, so I can empathize with how you must be feeling now."

"Really?"

Wesley nodded, and hesitated before taking a seat at the end of Alexander's bed. The boy did not object, so he continued, "It feels...as though you'll never be happy again, doesn't it? Like the pain will never go away."

Alexander looked up at him now. That was exactly how he felt.

"We had a funeral for him," said Wesley. "My dad. I remember that my Mom, Dr. Crusher, cried a lot. At the time I thought that I had to be brave for her, so I didn't cry. I blocked out the sadness for a long time, afraid that if I didn't, it would make her feel worse, and that was the last thing I wanted. But one day it all just burst out of me at once. I felt better after letting it all out, but I think I hurt a friend's feelings in the process."

"What happened?"

"Well, he had told a joke. He wasn't thinking when he said it, forgetting that the subject was sensitive to me, and it touched a nerve in me. I called him...er...really bad names, and we got into a fight. We both ended up getting in trouble for it."

"What did you get?"

"My first detention. My mom was _not_ happy. When she asked me why I did what I did, I told her that my friend had made fun of my Dad. I told her about blocking my feelings until they took over and got me in trouble. Now I know that you can't ignore your feelings. It's okay to be sad."

Alexander waited for Wesley to keep talking about his father, but when he didn't he spoke up, saying, "People keep telling me how sorry they are for me. How they know what I'm feeling, but they don't know. No one knows."

"Sometimes people just don't know what to say in situations like this. But, there people who really do know what it's like to lose a loved one. Did you know that Counselor Troi lost her father when she was a kid too?"

"No," said Alexander, looking both surprised and a little guilty at this news. "She never told me...I did not believe her when she told me that she knew how I feel."

Before Wesley could respond to this, another swishing sound told them that Troi had come back, and after a moment she appeared at the threshold. Looking at Alexander, she smiled in a motherly way and said, "I think it's time you went to bed."

Alexander nodded silently as Wesley stood up, preparing to leave. Troi returned to the other room, and when Wesley turned to follow her, Alexander called after him from the bed.

He turned around at the door, and was a little startled when he realized that the boy suddenly had tears in his eyes. The transition from his set, blank expression caught Wesley off guard, and he started feeling uncomfortable again. "Yes, Alexander?" he asked, looking sadly at the boy.

"After your father died...did...did the pain go away...you know, after a while?"

Wesley stepped closer. "I still miss him, but the pain of losing him did go away...over time. I think you'll always miss your father. I will too, and so will the rest of the _Enterprise_, but don't think you will be sad for the rest of your life. The pain goes away...with time."

"My father died a warrior," said Alexander, pulling his blankets closer to his chin. "An honorable death. He told me that you should not gireve an honorable death." The boy yawned and added, rubbing his wet eyes, "but I cannot help missing him."

Wesley smiled sadly, watching the child as he settled into his bed. "Good night, Alexander," he said quietly, and with that he left the room.


End file.
